what’s next after university?

nk cari keja tak semangat, rilek2 dlu, nnt once dh msk alam pekerjaan xle dh nk rilek2, responsibility dh byk, masa pun cepat berlalu, tetiap hr pegi keja pkul 8 blk keja pkul 5, mlm lak abedaa sbb letih, rutin yg sama, tup2 umur dh 40 thn, baru le nk terigt tym muda2 dlu..

based on apa yg aku tahu secara puratanya manusia zaman skang ni mampu hidup sampai 60 thn je, klu ikut umur nabi lak sampai 63 thn je, so klu tempoh hayat manusia ni diibaratkan cam jam kt dinding yg ada 60 minit tu, umur kita yg 20 thn plus+ ni kiranya jarum dia tgh duk tunjuk kt angka 4 la, more than quarter of our life have passed, nk smp separuh dh perjalanan hidup kita kt muka bumi ni, so setakat ni..apa hasil?

btw, aku mampu ckp pe klu org tnya, I’ve completed my university life, blum dpt degree lg tp dh ada transkrip rm10 kira ok whut (buat duit sungguh utp nih), dari umur 6 thn dah kena bergelumang dgn pelbagai knowledge2 dan informasi2 yg perlu di’compressed’ dlm kepala otak yg hanya sebesar 2 bijik penumbuk yg dicamtum together, well done my friend, we’ve survived the Malaysian too-exam-oriented education system, takdenye kena barah2 otak pun, dan takde gak yg mati bunuh diri terjun bangunan ke, kne masuk wad psikiatrik ke dsb, syabas buat diri anda..

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sebulan pertama pas abih semua exam, presentation and whatsoever nih, aku takmo sentuh langsung buku2 yg berbentuk akademik ada equation calculation sort of things, letih dah ng benda2 akademik nih, bukan tinggal terus takmo sentuh langsung cam benda tu najis mughallazah, tp tinggal kejap je la, lgpun kan proses pembelajaran tu tak berhenti sampai peringkat universiti ja, but more than that..

aku nk travel jd backpacker, bwk baju dua tiga helai, pukoi kaki p bejalan melihat keindahan dunia, terigt lak crita ‘into the wild’, crita pasai sorg mamat nih pas grad ja terus meghilangkan diri pegi mengembara ke Alaska mencari ketenangan jauh dari hiruk pikuk kota, tp aku takmo la jd cam dia, apa jadah kan, last2 crita dia mati sebab termakan buah beracun, setel suda..

hahaha, aku ni karang ayat mcm aku ni tourist mat2 saleh yg slalu mai malaysia galas beg besaq pakai spek mata hitam pastu tnya direction “where is the national monument?”..aku bukan seperti itu yah, aku just nk p visit adik aku ja, so takda la challenging sampai kena mempraktikkan istilah ‘malu bertanya sesat jln’ once kt sana, kata dah ada tourist guide bertauliah, takda masalahnya, but who knows..tempat penginapan pun takyah pk, tp aku tak kisah pun klu kena tidur tepi jln, yg penting buku pelajaran buang tepi no more quadratic formula for the time being..

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and the month after that, job hunting begin..betelo kot klu duk rumah lama2 tak buat keja, pk nk cari keja nih bikin aku serabut, niat hati nk keja ng pet menabur budi pada negara tp apakan daya, takyah berharap sgt, senior aku grad sem lps recommended pun takpat lg, to make things worse dia ee lak tuh, so bule la berkira2 angkat kaki cari kompeni lain, tp situasi complicated btol, nk cabut p tempat len pun bukan senang2 cam hg jentik buah karom, kompeni len takmau budak2 yg bonded nih, takdak keja bg bdk2 ni position, keja baru sebulan dua ttba pet panggil depa blk, dh kurang sorg pekerja, pastu kna cari pengganti blk, susah2..

buat demotivated bule lak mamat ni, tak susah mana pun, yg penting planning kena mantap, manipulate the problem to be your advantage, lagak bercakap cam personal development coach, takleh blah aku..so apa perancangan? aku tny mak aku, mmg la dia suh duk rmh memasak, kemas rumah, bekebun dsb, aku kata kt mak aku, “cek takmo duk rumah ja, duit tak masyuk poket, len la klu ada sistem pembayaran megikut jam di rumah” mak aku pun bg ayat bernas blk kt aku “hang keja ja la kt supermarket”..mmg brilliant, tak perlu cari alasan cmn nk kencing kt employer nk explain yg hg bukan scholar pet, aku tny pakcik aku pun dia suh keja supermarket, to be more specific dia suh keja ng tesco, maybe sbb dia pelanggan tetap tesco kot, so dia rs berbangga klu ada sanak saudara dia yg menyumbangkan tenaga untuk menyediakan perkhidmatan yg terbaik di kalangan pengguna..

tp smp bila nk keja camtu, degree tinggi2 buat pa..itu sbg permulaan, pengalaman keja tu yg lbe penting skang ni, jgn bazirkan masa camtu ja..pengalaman keja tesco ja buat pa, nnt klu hg nk keja engineer bukan depa nk tgk pun..hahaha, ini yg org ckp kna pandai manipulasi keadaan, perancangan aku camni, dengan duit yg tak seberapa hasil titik peluh bekerja sbg kuli tu, aku nk enroll dlm Institut Latihan Industri (ILT), amik course chargemen, buat part time dh la, hujung minggu p klas, so amacam? brilliant..

masa 6 bulan tempoh idah sebelum di’release’ oleh pet tu takde la terbuang begitu saja, lgpun tym hg nk p interview tempat len nnt pun hg dah ada something yg lbe dari org len yg baru grad, pengalaman bekeja di tesco untuk menampung yuran pengajian untuk kursus chargemen, mmg la interviewer tu ckp hg ni eager to learn, hardworking and other positive attributes you name it yourself..

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bukan niat aku nk influence hampa suh follow plan aku ka hapa, tp aku just nk share je la planning aku, and most importantly to remind myself to appreciate the time as it deserve to, live no regret beb

pertama kali di'tagged'

Aku yg di’tagged’

1. pergi mana2 je, org akan ckp kt aku “you look familiar”, famous public figures look-a-like perhaps
2. kuat melalut keluar topik ketika bercakap, that’s why aku malas ckp bbyk
3. suka usap rambut di bawah dagu tym berfikir, not the only one having this habit, med pun sama gak cam aku
4. suka tgk Martha Stewart Show, aku take note tips2 dia kasi, pastu buat2 pandai dpn mak sendiri
5. tidur ketika menonton wayang mmg hobi aku
6. tgk muvi kt pc pun aku suka ‘pause’ tym tgh2 cerita, tido jap, pastu bgn sambung balik
7. berpeluh tym beli nasi lemak, maybe sbb nasi lemak tu yg panas, atau awek2 situ yg hot, atau mmg aku yg hot no one can’t complain, you judge? wakaka

Org yg men’tagged’ aku

1. sebut nama ko, org akan relate ng kereta atos
2. one of the otai taiko in ee, seangkatan ng waty
3. suara ngko unik, unik bukan bermaksud lunak seperti siti nurhaliza yah
4. ko ni kuat meronggeng, hidup enjoy abis tp..
5. scorer dlm exam, nampak cam tak kuat stadi pun tp pandai geliga cam sang kancil
6. vocab ko power, no wonder aku buleh terikut pakai perkataan ‘hectic’ ko
7. aishah dan atos, sama2 laju…bukan aku ckp tp org len yg ckp
   

Org yg aku nk tag

1. amin
2. jamel
3. waty
4. kn
5. uena
6. sakinah
7. kamu yg sweet itu

reverse psychology attempt

Bangun di pagi hari bajet mau stadi tak toleh kanan kiri, tp aku silap, aku tak perasan gajet kt depan aku nih lagi la hyper besar penangannya..hoho,aku ON pc aku sbb nk cari motivation je ok, don’t get the wrong idea here..tp sudah tabie manusia,ckp tala selupa bikin maa,mula2 jari telunjuk je yg buat giat klick sana klik sini,pastu jari2 len pun turut memberontak mahukan keadilan, mahukan perubahan,last2 skali terhasil la post ini, aku bingung ng jari2 ku sendiri..

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I’m touch actually, touch with a post from a friend of mine, about her mom being a reverse psychologist, giving advices to her, not by scolding her “kaw2nya”, but just simply by slow talking not-direct-to-the-point something like that, in malay we called it as “marah bukan kebencian tp tanda sayang”, wei!! its wrong laa, in malay we called it as “tegur berkias”, as for me I should always called it as “kalau terasa padan muka, kalau tak terasa peduli hapa aku,hahaha”

Enough of the babbling, I suddenly realize that she is very lucky, and I am as well, why? because we are still breathing this air at the moments where our moms and dads still breathing the same air as we are, not to say that one day in the future, our parents breathe oxygen while we breathe the carbon monoxide, I’m just saying that we’re lucky to live the moments, share the happiness and sadness together with our beloved parent while they’re still alive, to have someone who always remind us on so many things until we can’t imagine how spacious their head are, to actually keep the reminders, not just for themselves but also for others, a big round of applause to them..not enough huh? lets make a thanksgiving party for them, still not enough? “do you really need me to buy a lamborghini car or what to make you satisfied”, the father suddenly said softly “cukuplah sekadar doa agar bahagia dunia dan akhirat”, and the son reply spontaneously “betol2, I know that..i just want to bribe you with those materialistic things, to actually see how materialistic you are, but I know you’re not right?” the father, with a smile on his face, answer “that’s true, you’re so intelligent and “mulut manis” eh, nah amik duit sepuloh ribu ni,buat belanja kawin, belen dia masuk poket”, “belen celah mana? wanita2 skang ni mana dpt nya sepuloh ribu, semua stok graduate universiti, kompem la juai mahai” the son only whispering for his own ears while his hand grabbing the whole money..

Perhaps this post a little bit off topics or any other terms that you would like to called it, but as far as I’m concerned, and hopefully you're also concerned, appreciate your parents, make them happy while you can, although sometime you just feel uncomfortable for doing so, just try to be sincerely as you can, “kat awek buleh wat2 caring, tny dh mkn belom, sihat ke tak, tgh watpe tuh,cantik la baju awak mcm orgnya jugak..kt mak ayah tak buleh plak wat caring sweet talking camtu”, hahaha, this is what I called “kalau terasa padan muka, kalau tak terasa peduli hapa aku,hahaha”, I’m off here..

P/s: still wonder if one day before he die, will he say "how lucky i am for having you as one of my sons"?

fandeyian as per requested

FANDEYIAN OKULTIKA HYMNOLOGY
Music: As Sahar (June 1995)
Lyrics: One Barchiel (26th. November 1995)

Rootings from coastal depth of Juana
Hoisting the wizardrie name of Siprapat
That of sorcerer’s transcending wisdom & glory

Djinnical disguise
Taken the shape of holy kiyai’s
Proclaming to lead in evil’s pride

Mystical sculptures of reptility
Conjuration – Sanggama’s cult of lust
Conjuration – Cernunok’s cult of wealth

Adorance within the witchified beauty...

Queen of idolizing grace
Iconized in knowledgedom of blackness

Ghaibance magick visionaring extreme-most witchism Jaya Kewijayaan
Honorary in inpenatrable strength

Upon guided path of Iblys
Ritualized in feast of blood

By your name Mona
You’ll remain a monarch in my eyes...

source:http://mp3melayuonline.multiply.com/reviews

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maybe the lyrics not that radio-friendly kind of things, but who cares? janji sedap..

fandeyian okultika hymnology

“Queen of idolizing grace,
Iconized in knowledgedom of blackness,
Ghaibance magick visionaring extreme-most witchism Jaya Kewijayaan,
Honorary in inpenatrable strength”

Bait2 lirik lagu karya ‘As Sahar’ yang bertajuk ‘Fandeyian Okultika Hymnology’ ,

menarik kan tajuknya, apa maksudnya?

aku pun siyes tak tahu,

sedang aku boring stadi, ttba tangan aku amat galak untuk memainkan lagu yg aku rs amat challenging ini,

nk kasi mahir,mau berkematu praktis..

selama ni aku just layan jek lagu nih, apa yg dia nyanyi pun aku tatau,

natang apa la yg dijeritkan, celah mn nk phm?

bila tgk lirik dia, siyes aku kusut musut,

tp lagu dia mmg best lahanat, ending solo yg amat sedap,

lagu2 sesat,dengaq buleh,amal jgn

lirik siap ada crita2 pasai Jaya Kewijayaan lg tuh,

adakah dia nk crita pasai ketuanan melayu di nusantara dulu?

only they knows..

sbb pa la yg depa xtulih lirik2 yg senang sket?

crita la pasai kisah cinta kau dan aku, bulan bintang menjadi saksi,

and whatsoever…

aha, tu yg org ckp think out of the box kot,

apa barang crita benda2 simple camtu,

bek nyanyi something yg bule educate listener,

terigt lak tym aku tgk rhythm of champion,

ada satu grup nyanyi lagu pasai ‘batu belah batu bertangkup’,

style gila, muka sorg2 ganas gila,

tp nyanyi lagu pasai hikayat rakyat,

mmg respek sbb kreatif,

tp laguny kurang menarik, kurangnya solo2 mengancam la beb,

nway, mmg salut la sama you all..

P/s: aku still tak suka interpret lirik sesuatu lagu, suara penyanyi tu aku ibaratkan cam satu instrument, sama seperi piano,sama seperti gitar, perkataan yg disusun menjadi lirik itu hanyalah untuk mencapai note2 agar secocok dengan melodi sesebuah lagu..fuyoo ayat